i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
