Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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