Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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