If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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