Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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