I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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