Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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