take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
