good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
