2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
