My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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