even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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