saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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