My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
