You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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