There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
