Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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