Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
