You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
