Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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