First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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