You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
