They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
