I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
