i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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