Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
