So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
