this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
