...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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