thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The Olympian is in my bed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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