in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
