Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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