I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
