So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
