Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
