I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
