Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
