??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
