one two three fourrrrnication!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
and you fell through a lawn chair
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
