Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
