well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
