I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Quick, to the slutcave!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
