A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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