I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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