is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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