i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize