Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have post one night stand depression
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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