this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
