And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think people are normalizing furries
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
