4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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