was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
