im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
