Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Enjoy the penises
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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