She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize