We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
