Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
