Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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