so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
