i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
