I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
