You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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