I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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